They call it True Love...I call it...

"Hi Sweet-heart,when are you coming? I've been here long waiting for you ."

-"I'm just 'bout to reach there honey.Got a li'l late buyin some stuff for you."

“Ok.Come soon.I’m dying to see you.”

-“Me too baby.God… it’s been a week.I’ll be there in 30 mins dear.Till then miss me….”

“Sure...I WILL MISS YOU….”

I hung up,and breathed a sigh of relief.Keeping the phone aside on the table,I clasped my fingers and put my head on the table.

I was in a posh city restaurant waiting for my girlfriend who would be half an hour late as usual.

I have to kill the relationship today.

I tried to calm myself by counting the prime numbers in my mind.

I was on 43 when I heard a knock on the table.

-“Sir,you Ok?”

I saw the familiar waiter standing by my side placing the menu-card on my table.

“One Large Teachers,” I said without bothering to look at the menu.

-“Soda Sir? " he asked.

“No.Neat.Just get some ice.”

I’ve been meeting Ninya in this restaurant for 3 years now and we were always served by this waiter. I never knew his name.

She’ll be here any moment now, I must think over all the points again in my mind. I want it to go as smoothly as possible.

The waiter came back with my drink and the ice bucket.

“Thanks,” I said and he went away without reply.

One.Two.Three…I dropped the ice-cubes in my glass.Then, holding the glass in front of my eyes I watched.The restaurant cum bar was dimly lit as it was 1:30 in the afternoon.The light from the room entered the glass and danced and swam across my drink,creating a sparkle.I closed one eye like a kid to watch the brilliant dazzling effect as small bubbles clothed the surface of the cubes.

Then I had a flashback.

2007 was a year that changed my life forever, sitting outside on one summer's day a flash of beauty just passed me.Her name was Ninya Mathur.

This was love at first sight, gasping for breath I’d tried to get control of my self.

-“Hi… I’m Ninya Mathur.”From the moment I looked into her eyes, I knew she is the one, the one I would spend the rest of my life with, until my time was done.

Just a week back I’d got my medical report which said I had the dreaded ‘C’ disease.My life had shattered instantly and all my emotions were sucked up into some super-massive blackhole. I loved Ninya like crazy.Her smile was the most beautiful thing in this world.God’s most special gift to me.I could do anything to keep her happy.

I had to do this.

I couldn't tell her I had cancer.She would die instantly.

I was entwined in my thoughts,juxtaposed between the devil and the deep blue sea...trying to find out the best way to leave her.

Soft music played in the background……….

"Please forgive me....I know not what I do....Please forgive me....I need you like I do.."

“Who will die first?” She said she wants to die first because she would feel unbearably lonely and sad without me, especially if the children were grown and living elsewhere. She was adamant about this. She sincerely wanted to precede me. She discussed the subject with such argumentative force that it was obvious she thought we had little choice in the matter.

I saw her face in my drink."Ohh Ninya...my sweetheart….Baby…,how much i'll miss you from up there.”

I was halfway through my drink when…I saw Ninya coming through the door.

Self-confident, energetic, bubbly as ever, Ninya. How much I loved her.

Smiling she came to my table.

-“What’s with the rotten cap?” she asked, sitting on the sofa.

I took off the cap taking the fruit and nut chocolate out of it. It was her favourite.

“It’s for you,” I said giving her the chocolate, feeling uncomfortable in her presence.

-“Oh thank you!” she said.

“Would you like to order something?” I asked giving her the menu-card.

-“Hmmmmm… lemme see…A Chicken Sandwich with a Pepsi,” she said putting it down.

I called the attention of the waiter with two upheld fingers.Quickly he came to our table.

-“Yes sir.”

“ A Chicken Sandwich, and a Pepsi for the lady,” I smiled.

“Pepsi cold sir?”

“Yes,” I said and he went away.

-"Why are you drinking now? You know I hate it.How many times do I……" She looked at me with scornful eyes.

I watched in silence,and managed to put up a sorry smile and winked at her.She immediately picked up the ketchup bottle and emptied it all into my glass.

-"Drink now,as much as want.”She winked back.

I looked at her,and gave a surrendered smile and then reality hit me.

I started to get up to go to the bathroom to wash my hands.

-“Toilet jayega bachcha?” she tried to be naughty.

“Yes,” I said uneasily and left the table.

When I was coming back after five minutes I saw…the waiter standing by our table talking to Ninya. He glanced at me and quickly withdrew.

“What was he saying?” I asked sitting down.

-“Nothing, he was just putting the dishes.”

“Oh it looked like he was talking to you.”

She didn’t reply.

-“Sameer,” she said, “I want to tell you something.”

“What?”

-“Nothing, forget it. You say, how are you? It’s been a week we’ve met.You look so weak,Is everything Ok jaan”

“Everything, I said.”

We sat quietly for 10 minutes. All this time I was thinking hard how to tell her that…

“Ninya,” I began. “Ninya, I met Megha yesterday.”

-“O, how is she?”

“I love her Ninya,” I blurted out.She looked at me as if I’d fallen right from space.

-“Haha, you love everyone.”

“Ninya listen, I love Megha. I don’t love you anymore.”

-“Haha are you serious?”

“Yes Ninya, I’m serious.”

-“So you wanna end this relationship?”

“Yes,” I said wiping my nose with my hanky.

-“Our 3 year old relationship for a girl you met last month?”

“Ninya time doesn’t matter. Megha is a nice girl and she is much more compatible.”

-“Oh.”

She was coldly sipping her pepsi as if nothing had happened.

“Ninya, why are you so silent. I want to end this relationship with you. I love Megha.”

She was staring at her sandwich, brooding upon it, silently she said:-“Why aren’t you looking at me. You are lying. Tell it to my eyes.”

I fell silent.

-“Thanks for making it easy for me Sameer.” she said with a catch in her throat.

“What do you mean?”

The meaning I learnt hours later.

She looked at me with burning eyes, staring straight into my eyes she said coldly:“I've brought this for you",she said as she handed over a card to me.

“I must leave now", She wept - " I will always love you...take care Sameer...wish I knew where I failed." she picked up her bag and left the room,sobbing.

"I sat there as the world shattered beneath my feet. I was just about to open the envelope, when a siren blared. I guess it must have been the fire alarm. I overheard someone somewhat casually saying, "I don't know, somebody said it was a fire. I think we better get out of here." Again, I say casually, because there was no alarm in the voice.I thought to myself,”What’s going on?”I was not alarmed by any means, and I thought of ordering another drink. I wanted to lose all consciousness. Then I thought to myself, ”No,I’ll just walk out the door for a second.If nothing’s wrong,I’ll be back in just a moment.” So I reached and picked up my car keys, and cell phone. Then I just turned and walked right out of the door. It was literally seconds later when all hell broke loose. There were maybe 30 people ahead of me going down an outside wooden stairway that led down to the floors below from this doorway.

People rushed out hurriedly and ran about screaming for help. No one bothered to look at each other. All they knew was that somehow they had to escape. Black smoke just poured into my lungs, and I think I was only about one or two steps down from the platform. More Smoke billowed over my shoulders. That led to somewhat of a rush of people trying to get down the stairs. And I saw that before I was even all the way down the stairs, this huge burst of flame that was so forceful, and smoke and so forth, just shot out of that doorway. People began to scramble to get out, but it became such a mess there, all were getting entangled with one another. From what I saw, there was a metal section in the middle of that doorway, and one individual had his legs trapped around that. So, it became very chaotic right there at that exit. They were becoming overcome with smoke and hung up with each other. Some people were pulled from the exit, but I remember just watching a lot of them die right there in that doorway.

It was the famous 150 year old heritage building named Stephan Court, in the heart of ParkStreet, a prominent commercial centre in the Kolkata. Stephan Court is also home to two of the city's best known restaurants - the iconic Flury's & Peter Cat. I was in the latter just minutes ago.

My heart beat fast.

"Ninyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..." I screamed looking for her. How hard it had hit her, when I broke up. I pulled out my cell to call her.

Tring Tring…..Tring Tring….."Pick up sweety, pick up". No answer.

We were in the 6th floor of the seven storey building. She couldn’t have been out so fast.

I ran to check the elevator. Huge Flames shot out from every direction. I then heard fire-brigade sirens all over. I peeped outside from the window and was left aghast. The firemen were having a tough time negotiating the cramped streets and hordes of on-lookers. The ladders took so long to come up that those who were trapped in the 3^rd and 4^th floors just jumped onto the parapet of the 1^st floor without even safety nets.

Oxygen was the only thing I needed in there, and it was the only thing missing. However, once I began to think of my Ninya, that's when panic developed, because I could see that people were not able to get out of this passage.

" Nnniiiinnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.......... " I cried tearfully. The rooms along the passage were ablaze, and were crumbling bit by bit. People were lying all across the corridor. The smoke had choked them to death. Others were crying for help. I could not see the pain. A moment came when I just completely lost it, and I tried to go into the fire. One woman grabbed me and punched me so hard that she literally knocked me to the ground. The conflagration was so universal, and the people so astonished, that from the beginning, I know not by what despondency or fate, but crying out and lamentation, running about like distracted creatures without at all attempting to save even their goods; such a strange consternation there was among them, so as it burned both in length and in breadth.

I looked all around when I found a body lying near the elevator. I frantically moved the air to clear out the smoke.The hands, the feet everything was charred. The golden wrist watch assured me it was my love Ninya.

"Ninyaaaa...baby get up"...I screamed at her. I jerked her and patted her cheek violently.

"Ninyaa...Sweetheart...I'm here baby...c'mon lets go…" saying this I lifted her in my arms and ran across the hallway. I was panting for breath as I jumped over dead bodies of women and children. It was like a necropolis of fire, growling ferociously to gulp everything down. I could feel my flesh melt in the heat. Finally, after pulling up all the energy I had, I reached the 4^thfloor. The eastern wind still more impetuously drove the flames forward. Nothing but the Almighty power of God was able to stop them, for vain was the help of man.

I reached the window and kicked it hard as the glass shattered and fell all around the area and cut my burning flesh. Portions of the building collapsed as the firemen brought up huge ladders that surged in close proximity of the upper floors. I stepped on to the escape ladder inches away, holding tightly on to my love. A fireman who was saving a woman and her little daughter from a fourth-floor fire escape balcony, reached for the fire truck ladder to guide it near the balcony. Suddenly the fire escape collapsed. The woman and child fell four stories, but the fireman grabbed the ladder with one hand. The woman died, but the child survived.

When our ladder descended, I looked up and saw all the sky was of a fiery aspect, like the top of a burning oven.

God grant mine eyes may never behold the like, who now saw above all the floors in one flame; the noise and cracking and thunder of people, was like an hideous storm, and the air all about so hot and inflamed that at last one was not able to approach it, so that they were forced to stand still and let the flames burn on, which did for near two hours in length and in one breadth.

I held Ninya’s face close to my heart, tightening my arms around her. Brushing her unruly hair from her face, I felt no pulse.

She was dead.

I felt her soft cheek and kissed her forehead.

“No baby,don’t go…..I will miss you…….I’m Sorry”.I cried.I cried.I cried.

Four eyes.

Two teardrops.

You were still in my arms

Till yesterday

And here you are today,

Nothing but a face

Stamped across my heart,

A tear in my eye

and a card…..

I took out the card she’d given me hours ago. I’d carefully kept it inside my jacket, but never got the time to see it.

It was a beautiful card showing a couple, holding hands, walking along the beach into the sunset.

I opened the card, where which she’d written a line in a fancy sparkling pink ink.

“Without you.....I cannot live.....”

A Woman does not need reservation to rise

As far as my daily routine goes...I wake up in the morning and sit in front of the idiot box,sip in hot coffee,and watch the morning news.Like everyday,today was no special.I was watching the IPL updates,the KKR gearing up to battle the Mahi boys,Shoot-out near ISRO,Bangalore...

And then something shocked me.

The footage showed a Baba in a remote village in UP,dressed in regular clothes,sporting huge garlands,and dancing in a fit of rage.Thousands of villagers,mostly women,sat around the makeshift pandal.And then what I saw....shamed me.

This baba was beating women brutally ,punching their abdomen,dragging them by their hair and kicking them ruthlessly.Thousands of men and women clapped and sang hymns in unison,as if transfixed in the act of this faith healer.These women were brought in the camp by their husbands and family members to cure them of their mental imbalances,and free them of what they call - Bhoot ka Waas.

One such woman,appearing to be in her twenties, faced "Thrasher Baba's" wrath.It was a scene that churned my stomach and froze my eyeballs.The baba kicked this woman on her face and stood on her neck to choke her .The helpless woman cried in pain as if she would die any moment,blood oozing out of her mouth,face smeared with dust .He then kicked her repeatedly in the most beastly manner in her lower abdomen area.Then holding her by her hair,he threw her metres away.No one heard her cries,media - people kept on capturing the incident,showing the tearful,blood-smeared face of the woman.

The men closed their eyes in devotion of the sanguinary "Thrasher Baba".

Shame....what a shame.

It was just days ago that the womens reservation bill was passed in one of the houses of the parliament,that guaranteed one third reservation of women in the State Assemblies.

I argue here.It is more important to empower them socially,educationally and economically.But we have not seen any major move in the last 60 years.

Despite women occupying the posts of President,Speaker,Leader of the ruling party and the Leader of the opposition,the stark reality is that female foeticide,"honour" killings,dowry,and crimes against women continue to plague society.Atrocities such as wife-beating,marital rape,and denial of opportunities in the name of tradition and religion hardly come to our knowledge.Barring a few,women are in no position to retaliate or protest.These millions of women earn meagre incomes producing goods in their homes,picking and recycling rubbish,working as agricultural labourers,small farmers,construction workers,street vendors and hawkers.Bereft of a voice,they have remained invisible to most our my middle -class compatriots and are vulnerable to exploitation and neglect.It is sadly clear how bigotry,dressed up as culture or tradition,helps maintain this unfairness.These traditions are used to justify out-dated and unfair practices which feed inequality and traps millions under poverty.Women and girls in particular find themselves excluded from opportunities,with the poorest terribly vulnerable to exploitation,neglect and abuse.Women's work is denied recognition and proper pay.They face enormous obstacles in having their voices heard and in claiming rights and freedoms that are enshrined in our constitution and laws but denied in practice.Only when the Women's reservation bill helps the hapless women lead a dignified life can we say it served a useful purpose.Let it not serve as a means for women of the upper strata to further their interests.

The proposed reservation is only a symbolic gesture,as far as the masses are concerned.It will create more political dynasties by facilitating the entry of daughters and daughter-in-laws and nieces waiting in the wings of opportunity.These women tend not to represent the larger women population,instead,they lock in the seats for a handful of powerful families.These seats tend to go to the bahu-betis of other family members of established politicians and industrialists.An independant male candidate who has done a good job in his constituency and stands a very good chance of getting re-elected may become ineligible to contest from the constituency if it is declared reserved for women.

It is important for the Women's Reservation Bill to provide a reservation for the OBC's.Women belonging to the backward sections cannot compete with their educated counterparts for the party ticket.Party leaderships too will reject them on the ground that they are not winnable or rich enough to contest elections.The rationale behind womens bill is that women cannot cross some barriers without reservation.The social and economic barriers faced by women belonging to the backward sections are much more than the women from the forward castes face.A Reservation within a reservation is a logical and the least of intelligent steps taken by the government.Unless this glaring anomaly is addressed,reservation will remain a means of bringing the upper caste rich women,and daughters and daughter-in-laws of politicians into the parliament.

In the centenary year of the International Women's day,let this bill,that took 14 long years to pass,be seen as a triumph of the womanhood.One hopes that the bill will have a smooth passage at the Lok Sabha without unruly behaviour or disruptions.An opportunity missed now,will only see the bill lying in cold storage forever.

However we should not forget,that the need of the hour is social,educational and economic empowerment of women.

Let this Empowerment not be a Mirage.

"A free race cannot be born of slave mothers"

The Absolution

3-4 days back,I was chatting with my buddy Himanshu on Google Talk.

Excerpts from the chat...

"Yaar How do you find my blog??"...Writers are always hungry for comments be it good or bad.It motivates them,fuels their spirits to do better work.

-"Yeah I've read it,and I liked your style - the simplicity and the finishing".

"Kaunsa tujhe sabse achcha laga ?"...Writers always want you to rate and compare their work.It makes them aware of their holes.

-"Wahi Jethu wala....Yaar social issues pe bahut likh liya tune,ab kuch masala-wasala likh..???"

"Jaise...???"

-"Jaise romance shomance daal....bandiyan bhi visit karengi...."

"Yaar pakk gayen hai log romance se...aur romance khilaun to vomit karenge.....Even Bollywood is fed up of love stories now.They seem to be focusing on handicaps these days."

-"Tab ek kaam kar,tu thriller likh....bahut time ho gaya ek dhaasu thriller padhe hue."

"Thriller...lemme see...I dnt know,but i'll try".

I thought for three days.I said to myself - "There is no challenge more challenging than the challenge to challenge yourself".

So here it goes.....

Himanshu...buddy this one's for you.

The huge digital clock on the walls of the Park Street Metro Station showed the time as 9:15 PM.The platform bore a long deserted look.Metros can be a dangerous place,specially for women at night,but this small attractive woman seemed not to care. She was absorbed into her book - Angels and Demons by Dan Brown.Smartly dressed in a suit,carrying a light color leather bag,she appeared to be a daily commuter.People who seldom commute in metros do not carry books to read.Daily commuters,however had their own ways to kill time.Some listened to music,some talked on the phone,some dozed off and some,like this young lady,read.Two more commuters stood at the opposite end of the platform, but no one near this woman.She seemed to be cutoff from the desolate and eerie atmosphere,and was enjoying her read.

Minutes later,a Man stepped out of the rising escalator.In his forties,dressed in a pair of jeans and a tweed jacket,this man carried around a small suitcase,and a receding hairline. His gold rimmed glasses sparkled in the soft light. Despite the emptiness of the station, he went up and sat next to the Woman.

The Man glances down at his watch and says,"In exactly six minutes and forty-eight seconds the next train will pass through this station."

This startled the Woman, and she looks up at him.He stares straight back at her and gives her a warm smile. She looks behind him to find the person he is attempting to address and she realizes it is her.

"I... Excuse me?"

He laughs a little, "In exactly six minutes and forty-eight..." He looks back at his watch, "thirty-one seconds, the next train will pass through here." He smiles at her in his little friendly way.

She smiles back and tries to go back to her book.

"It doesn't stop you see," He swoops his arms through the empty air, "just goes flying through."

The Woman nods and smiles.

He leans in towards her.

"That last bit is quite important to you and me." She slowly looks up at him.

"I'm sorry,the next train is not mine." He interrupts her," Oh! Yes, I figured that was it."

The Woman looks more closely at him and shakes her head, "So you see, the next train doesn't matter to me."

He smiles that empty smile once more, "No, not normally, but today... it will."

She suddenly starts to get angry, "Look, I am not really sure what the hell you are talking about."

The smile leaves his face. "I am so sorry, let me explain. It's important for you today because you will determine whether or not I throw myself in front of it." He smiles, but this time, meaningfully.

The words take a second to sink into the Woman, and then she shakes her head, her eyes wide with shock.

"What?"

The Man was beginning to get annoyed, "You will decide whether I throw myself in front of the next train or not."

She looks around the platform; her eyes find the two commuters on the opposite side of it. Her wondering eyes return to the man, "I'm not sure if I am the right person for this, I'll get someone."

She signals to the others across from her, but the man calmly, yet firmly says, "No. You're the one. You need to decide this. The Woman starts for the other commuters, but the Man grabs her arm.

"This Man is in pain. If you walk off, I will jump. By the time you find someone it will be too late. This one is up to you. Go now and be responsible for the death of me, or listen to this story and possibly save my soul... Your choice."

The Woman stood horrified, she looked around and then back at the man. He attempts a smile, but it just looks sad. The woman swallows, "I don't know who you are, but I don’t want you to jump, okay?"

"You don't know that. You haven't even heard the facts, so you don’t know that at all."

"It doesn't matter, no one deserves death."

"Oh, but I think some do, you need to hear this..."

The Man looks at his watch again, "and it needs to be done quickly. At the end: you decide."

The woman is fearful, and hesitantly nods. The Man takes a long sigh, "It's the first time I have done it, " He starts to cry, but then gathers himself and continues, "I've had the yearnings before, but this is the first time." The woman is confused, and the Man quit talking. "The first time you what?" The man looks her in the eyes, this time without smiling and utters, "The first time I molested a child."

The woman covers her mouth, and looks away from the Man. The Man looks away also but then back at her.

"I know, I even disgust myself. I'm a revolting piece of shit. If it were down to me then in a minute I would be dead." He hangs his head and looks at the ground. The Woman removes her hand and steadies herself.

"What's her name?"

He looks at her with more disgust. "It gets worse, it wasn't a girl. He was nine-years old."

The Woman steps back and takes a deep breath.

"I didn't want to hurt him, not physically anyways, but-" ..He stops, they stare at each other and the Man turns away. "I don't know why I am even talking to you; we both know I should just die."

"The next train at platform no. 2 will not be stopping at this station. Please keep behind the yellow line." The station announcer said over the intercom.

The Woman looks intently at him, holding the stare. She hates this Man now, "How could you do that to a little boy?"

He was tearing up, "I have no real excuse, and someone did it to me when I was six. It's like a cycle."

They stood in silence, "I am a parent, and I have a nine-year old daughter. I need to know something."

The man nods, the sound of a train approaching grew louder and resonated across the lonely platform.

"Can you stop yourself?" The train drew nearer.

He nods. He turns away from her and walks to the edge of the tracks, ready to jump. He lets his suitcase fall to the ground, bouncing open, papers fly out. The train is seconds away from racing past him. The Woman grabs his arm, "Don't do it."

The train crosses by them in a flash, the Man's jacket and the Woman's hair rush in the wind. The papers from the suitcase whirl like debris in a hurricane.

The train is now gone.

Silence fills the air as the papers settle to the ground. They stare at each other.

"Thank You." The Man said almost in tears.

The Woman looks at him, "You need help. Profession help."

He nods again.

The platform announcer once again calls a train; this was the Woman's train.

"I know I do, I will get it. I promise." The 9:45 train pulls in and the woman boards it.

"Thank you for your ABSOLUTION..!!!"....the Man exclaims.

She turns around.

The Man smiles.

The woman takes her seat, slightly confused at the smile.The train picks up speed and leaves the station.

The next morning before leaving for office, the woman, comfortably sips her hot coffee and reads the newspaper.She casually reads the first page….the second…but there is something in the third page that catches her attention.

“Kolkata mourns the first death anniversary of Sudhanshu”

Kolkata 3^rd March : Hundreds of people gathered on the streets of Esplanade and Park Street to commemorate the first death anniversary of Sudhanshu Bhatnagar.It was a year back when 9 year old Sudhanshu was molested and killed by his uncle Surinder Bhatanagar,a 40 year old textile businessman.Weeks later Surinder was found hanging in his city apartment,with a suicide note in his pocket.The incident had shocked the nation......."

The article contained a picture of the two together.

-"Wwwhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat..???"

The woman was paralyzed, pinned somewhere between nausea and asphyxia.Her eyes ballooned as she saw the picture of the man.Every single hair on her body stood in shock and fear.

She locked her eyes with the man in the picture…he had the same smile…he knew she’d gotten it all.

- "Gumnaam hai koi....Badnaam hai koi...."